2-27-2021

I think about you even when I don’t want to. I think about you and I hate myself for it.

My heart stops in my throat when I see your name pop up on my phone. My chest gets tight and all the memories and pain of you flood to my brain like a bitch. It gives me a migraine and I get fucking sick.

I think about potentially being cordial, maybe even friends. Then I think about that moment when everything about us changed.

You couldn’t choose me because you couldn’t choose yourself and I forgive you for that. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. They’re given to us to remind us to envision what we need instead of what we want.

You no longer became a necessity. You became a mistake that turned into a hard lesson.

A part of me will always cherish you. But most of me knows my life is better without you. You may not have chosen me and that’s okay. I always choose me and that’s one thing I’ll be able to take home with me. Because I am my own home.

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