3-16-21

What really grinds my gears is when men will feed you spoonfuls of bullshit excuses of why they can’t date you such as: “Oh, I have a lot going on with work.” “if only you could move here we could be together.” Or my personal favorite: “I’d rather see where this goes, but I’m down…

Feelings Are A Waste.

Feelings are fucking confusing. Love isn’t supposed to make you feel conflicted but yet here I am torn. I’ve built a home all by myself, I wonder what can he provide for me that I have already given myself? I don’t need reassurance, financial help, or even a partner really. so i wonder what exactly…

Coping Mechanisms.

I always thought that you were supposed to feel like shit after sex. That you were supposed to hate yourself to the point of cutting up your arms just to forget the sick act you’ve performed on camera, on video, in front of an audience. Exhibitionist. I thought that’s how you know if people like…

.001%

Spreading my legs used to be so fucking  easy that my friends expect it, that it’s  become my typical behavior.  So tell me why the thought of intimacy  and sex and just having someone else looking  at me naked freaks me the fuck out to where  I couldn’t even enjoy it. I can have the…

My Reality.

Is feeling like I’m a normal fucking human being one moment and  thirty minutes later finding myself cutting my legs and arms while  sitting in a bathtub.  It’s forcing myself to not  overdose on my sleeping pills, to not open the second story window  and fly to the ground.  My reality is hiding my suicidal …