loss – The Dirty Truth

My Dirty Truth. 6-14-2021

I want to curl myself into the closet and lay there until the sun comes out. But I don’t know when the suns coming out. It’s been raining for weeks. I’m tired of living. I’m tired of me. I’m tired of being. No one understands how exhausting it is to fight with your brain 24/7…

Thirsty.

Once I had a taste of intimacy, the feeling of curious hands spider walking my skin with soft fingers I swallowed it whole. I shoved it down my throat. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until I felt a molecule taste on my tongue. I was hooked. Into a man that didn’t deserve me…

Benign.

Sometimes I’ll trick myself into thinking I’m doing better. Sometimes I’ll be naive to believe I’m normal and thriving but I forget I’m merely in remission. The grief will cross its legs and sit benign inside my veins, coiling itself softly around my organs. It’ll sleep in the corners of my mind, waking up when…

I’m told I’m too harsh, or I’m too cut throat when it comes to dating. But if you value your time like I do, you have to be mindful with who you choose to invest your time on. This is also why I have set myself a certain level of standards for myself and for…

I don’t know what the fuck to say.

I’ve been at a standstill lately, and usually have some form of advice or experience to offer. But lately, I’ve been depressed and journaling all my thoughts. I don’t know what to say. I just feel so fucking lost some days and I feel like a fucking failure. I felt sharing some journal entries might…