My Dirty Truth. 6-14-2021

I want to curl myself into the closet and lay there until the sun comes out. But I don’t know when the suns coming out. It’s been raining for weeks. I’m tired of living. I’m tired of me. I’m tired of being. No one understands how exhausting it is to fight with your brain 24/7…

Scraps.

I was so desperate for  love and acceptance I  was happy for any  scraps you would toss  my way.  I would scarf them  down my throat &  beg for more. I was  just happy someone  noticed me enough to pity me.  & that’s just fucking pathetic. 

Hyper-Independence Isn’t Something to be Fucking Proud of.

“It’s better if I do it myself.”  “It’s fine; I’d rather do it alone.” “I don’t need your help.” “I can do this with or without you.” I realized this morning that being too independent comes with its own term called, “hyper-independence” and trust me it’s not the greatest trait to have. It’s toxic as…

Anxiety is a bitch.

My anxiety has been sky high all day to the point I was vomiting on my way to work. It’s more than “being nervous” or feeling a little worried” It’s waking up crying every morning overthinking every worst case scenario in your head and your brain convincing you that no one loves you. It’s having…