abuse – The Dirty Truth

11/10/2021.

I wanted to cut myself today. Thinking of you sliding your fingers inside me, violating my body gives me nightmares. No one imagines getting sexually assaulted on the first date. It’s not something I openly talk about you know? It’s not something I’m proud of. The shame follows me in every relationship I’ve been in,…

Thirsty.

Once I had a taste of intimacy, the feeling of curious hands spider walking my skin with soft fingers I swallowed it whole. I shoved it down my throat. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until I felt a molecule taste on my tongue. I was hooked. Into a man that didn’t deserve me…

3-16-21

What really grinds my gears is when men will feed you spoonfuls of bullshit excuses of why they can’t date you such as: “Oh, I have a lot going on with work.” “if only you could move here we could be together.” Or my personal favorite: “I’d rather see where this goes, but I’m down…

Hyper-Independence Isn’t Something to be Fucking Proud of.

“It’s better if I do it myself.” “It’s fine; I’d rather do it alone.” “I don’t need your help.” “I can do this with or without you.” I realized this morning that being too independent comes with its own term called, “hyper-independence” and trust me it’s not the greatest trait to have. It’s toxic as…

Progress.

When I left my ex boyfriend in August I was fucking 87 pounds. I was sick, I looked unhealthy and I was in the worst shape of my life. I used to be scared to eat, I’d have to walk on egg shells, I’d have to beg for the bare minimum, and I couldn’t even…