Popular.

Well liked. Popular. Pretty.

It sounds nice on paper. It sounds lovely right? You have a lot of friends, everyone wants to hang out with you, fighting for a spot in your inner circle.

But it gives you a migraine for weeks. When you’re trying to handle the overwhelming amount of notifications from every single person you know. When you’re trying to navigate yourself and focus but your phone is going off 1000 times a day.

When you’re not only busy with your stressful social life but trying to navigate your own life: your career, your side projects, your mental illness, your motherhood, your physical health. When you realize you have so little time you can’t choose anyone except yourself.

Being well liked gives me a migraine. It’s so fucking loud I can’t hear anything else in my brain. I close my eyes and I just scream.

Sometimes I can’t take it anymore. I just turn my phone off and go off the grid for however long I need to. It could be days, weeks even before I’m ready to come back to civilization.

The silence is the only way I can breathe. I can’t survive without it.

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