“…This isn’t something I’m going to work on. I am this way because its what works for me and to “work on it” is basically a nice way to suggest change. I’m not going to change who or how I am. I’ve already done that once in my life and it was a complete waste. So I have no interest in trying it again.”
That line alone told me everything I needed to know about you. Sadly, all it showed me is that you’re a fucking coward. You’re a coward because you’re too self-centered, too full of your narcissistic pride to ever consider the possibility that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your fucking needs.
I know exactly who needs to hear this. When you get into a relationship, its no longer about you and your needs. What has always worked for you may not be what’s best for your partner. You should be willing to accommodate and adapt to work with your partner because change isn’t supposed to be perceived as a bad thing. I’m never asking for perfection; you can always improve yourself and grow as a person. All I’m asking for is effort. And you couldn’t even respect me enough to give me that.
It’s your partners job to support and encourage you to be the best person you can be. No one is going to accept some bullshit “This is just how I am” because not only is that a major red flag, but its also a huge sign that you have a lot of growing up to do. It’s your responsibility as an adult to figure out which of your traits are toxic and to eventually learn how to fix them. At some point you have to throw away the dead end excuses and take accountability for your self reflection. If you truly believe you don’t have to change anything about yourself, and that people will just have to deal with it, you’re still a fucking child.
Your entire responses just affirmed to me that you will never be the partner that I deserve. It’s not like you’re not capable; its the mere fact you have no interest in fucking trying. At your age, that’s fucking pathetic.
After everything we’ve been through, this is how you choose to end things. You couldn’t even last 6 months. If this is the hill you choose to die on then I send you my shallowest condolences as you fall on your own sword. When you come back to grovel, I’ll swiftly kick you back to the hill you chose to kill yourself on because I don’t do second chances and I definitely don’t do thirds.
Second chances only work if we both spent the time apart on self improvements and growing up. It can’t work long term if one person watered themselves while the other let themselves wither and die from lack of nutrition. It’s actually pathetic that after all these years you truly haven’t changed a bit. You didn’t deserve me, and I’m glad I caught on early than waste years of my life with you. Everything is great until I ask you to work on yourself for our relationship because apparently that’s where you draw the line.
A relationship can’t work if you choose to be a dead anchor in life while your partner is setting up her sails to make waves. All you end up doing is holding them back. You give us no choice but to cut the rope and let you drown to save ourselves. I’m trying to build an empire and you’re too comfortable staying in my shadow. You’re not on my level and I deserve a partner who will match my energy. You risked your entire hand and ended up losing everything. I guess gambling isn’t your strong suit baby because I don’t fold to boys like you.
We’re all dealing with shit. That doesn’t give you the right to put your partner on the back burner. You don’t get a free pass to treat your partner like trash because you’re having a bad day.
I could see myself going stagnant through life if I chose to stay with you. I realized being with you was a fucking mistake and I’m better than that. Relationships take work and they require compromise. If you’re not willing to put in the work then leave me the fuck alone.
I love you dearly, but love isn’t enough to keep me around. I need more than a person telling me they love me. I need someone who’s willing to put in the effort to build a life with me. If you refuse to grow and prosper with me, I need to find a partner who will.
You didn’t hurt me. You hurt yourself by falling on your own sword. That sounds like a personal problem.
The right person will better themselves for you. It’s that fucking simple. They won’t tell you “this is just how I am” because they’ll be growing with you.
Love is sacrificial.
Love is unconditional.
You can’t claim you’re a team if you refuse to be a team player.
I’d wish you the best but you already had it.